1. hungarian:

    if i don’t talk to myself who will

    (via spoof)

  2. internetexplorers:

    “you’re like a son to me”

    “dad, i am your son”

    (via assume)

  3. (Source: desamas, via assume)

  4. carnivour:

    may the wings of your eyeliner always be even.

    (Source: carnivour, via spoof)

  5. assbutt-in-the-garrison:


    when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

    your first…?

    (Source: penceyprepofficial, via deair)

  6. reginamas:

    i just told my mom i died at birth and i’ve been a ghost this entire time just growing and manifesting into the daughter she’d lost

    and she’s just like

    well please go to the light because i am tired of your shit

    (Source: adorablebadass, via assume)

  7. (Source: puppy-cemetery, via assume)

  8. (via coexistness)

  9. (Source: sc4rymmary, via find-my-mind)

  10. fitfood-love:

    Oatmeal topped with coconut, cacao nibs, sugar free choc chips, peanut butter, and caramel dulce de leche.

    (via lvl1crittr)

  11. (Source: bluexprincessx, via lvl1crittr)

  12. (Source: emiliaclargaryen, via lvl1crittr)

  13. stability:

    *annoying fifth grader voice*

    haha spell icup

    (Source: stability, via assume)

  14. anas-delicate-shadow:


    "a reader lives a thousand lifes before he dies. the man who never reads lives only one."

    (Source: killyn, via coexistness)